Zigs and Zags and Patti Smith

~Wrote this two days ago while flying out to SLC but didn't get a chance to post until now. Benjamin is having surgery this afternoon. Feeling more nervous about his recovery than the actual procedure. Fortunately he and I both have great support as he goes through this next challenge. He has an excellent team of doctors and his roommates are two very close friends who have reassured me that they will be at the ready and available to help him out with whatever he needs when he gets home. I am staying about ten minutes away with my best friend, Mimi Charles, from when I was a teenager and we seem to be more connected than ever after having lost touch for more than 30 years! We reconnected about 7 years ago when Ben moved out to Utah but had only seen each other once for an hour or two when I was out here 3 years. Life is strange and sweet amidst the challenges.~

Sitting on an airplane headed to SLC. My son Ben is having a surgical procedure the day after tomorrow on his eye- actually the optic nerve. It could be a fairly simple procedure- optic nerve decompression due to a rare bone condition that he has had since childhood- and I am more concerned about the recovery but it could also be a bit more extensive than what they are anticipating.

Flight zigs and zags- a 12-hour travel day. Providence to Baltimore, Baltimore to Detroit, Detroit to Las Vegas, Las Vegas to SLC. I hate writing on my iPhone but figure I may as well do something constructive!

Finished reading Patti Smith’s amazing book “Just Kids” en route. Didn’t plan so well- I didn’t want it to end, especially when I still have hours to go before arriving in Salt Lake. Somehow I didn’t take into account all the time changes and didn’t realize it was a four and a half hour flight from Detroit to Las Vegas! The upside of being stuck on a plane for many hours is being held hostage by creative artistic literary rock n’ roll inspiration.

What is it that gets me about Patti Smith? I had no idea how steeped in art her life has been. How did I not know so much more about her in years gone by? I knew she was a rock icon and a legend- every time I heard her music I loved it but I never chased her down- until last year when I read “M Train” and had my mind blown. Now I want to hear every song, read every poem, every book and see every drawing she ever did.

Part of what is so captivating is her humility and her unabashed honesty. It’s as though she looked life straight in the eye and fell into it. The lack of ego is one of the most refreshing things in her writing. It was quite a contrast to Graham Nash’s autobiography which I recently finished and grew very tired of about 2/3 of the way through because I felt it was so full of ego. Somehow there was always the feeling to me that he was name-dropping and talking a lot about how fabulous he was, whereas with Patti Smith, even while she writes about meeting Janis Joplin, Jimi Hendrix and other legends, it feels very innocent and natural. There is sense of detachment around it- like she’s just writing about her life as it unfolded in a very organic way. There is always a sense of wonder, simplicity and connection.

When I saw her in New Bedford in January I had the same sense- an invitation to be fully human with no shame, no hiding. It is a powerful and inspiring invitation, to be the fullness of who I am and to me the greatest gift of true spiritual teachers. The ones I have been most affected by are the ones who I feel are fully manifesting in every moment. So I guess I am adding Patti Smith to my list of great gurus. Thank you Patti.Sitting on an airplane headed to SLC. My son Ben is having a surgical procedure the day after tomorrow on his eye- actually the optic nerve. It could be a fairly simple procedure- optic nerve decompression due to a rare bone condition that he was born with- and I am more concerned about the recovery but it could also be a bit more extensive than what they are anticipating.

Flight zigs and zags- a 12-hour travel day. Providence to Baltimore, Baltimore to Detroit, Detroit to Las Vegas, Las Vegas to SLC. I hate writing on my iPhone but figure I may as well do something constructive!

Finished reading Patti Smith’s amazing book “Just Kids” en route. Didn’t plan so well- I didn’t want it to end, especially when I still have hours to go before arriving in Salt Lake. Somehow I didn’t take into account all the time changes and didn’t realize it was a four and a half hour flight from Detroit to Las Vegas! The upside of being stuck on a plane for many hours is being held hostage by creative artistic literary rock n’ roll inspiration.

What is it that gets me about Patti Smith? I had no idea how steeped in art her life has been. How did I not know so much more about her in years gone by? I knew she was a rock icon and a legend- every time I heard her music I loved it but I never chased her down- until last year when I read “M Train” and had my mind blown. Now I want to hear every song, read every poem, every book and see every drawing she ever did.

Part of what is so captivating is her humility and her unabashed honesty. It’s as though she looked life straight in the eye and fell into it. The lack of ego is one of the most refreshing things in her writing. It was quite a contrast to Graham Nash’s autobiography which I recently finished and grew very tired of about 2/3 of the way through because I felt it was so full of ego. Somehow there was always the feeling to me that he was name-dropping and talking a lot about how fabulous he was, whereas with Patti Smith, even while she writes about meeting Janis Joplin, Jimi Hendrix and other legends, it feels very innocent and natural. There is sense of detachment around it- like she’s just writing about her life as it unfolded in a very organic way. There is always a sense of wonder, simplicity and connection.

When I saw her in New Bedford in January I had the same sense- an invitation to be fully human with no shame, no hiding. It is a powerful and inspiring invitation, to be the fullness of who I am and to me the greatest gift of true spiritual teachers. The ones I have been most affected by are the ones who I feel are fully manifesting in every moment. So I guess I am adding Patti Smith to my list of great gurus. Thank you Patti.

Credit Sebastien Bozon/Agence France-Presse — Getty Images

Last Night (An Evening With Patti Smith)

I feel like last night was an historic event.

Well, it was. For me.

What is that, when the pure unabashed humanity of another person allows you to tap into that deepest part of yourself? Not your soul. Nothing so lofty as that. Your raw wounded compassionate loving funny poignant beautiful authentic self just the way you show up in this world- flaws, foibles, warts and all.

That was An Evening With Patti Smith. Her black jeans, scrappy t-shirt peeking out from under her black vest and man's suit jacket, slightly over-sized. Unafraid of her age, nothing to hide, censoring nothing as far as I could tell...

She read, mostly from Just Kids, some from her new "little book" Devotion (which is small) (and which she said could possibly be read in one sitting on a bad day in the bathroom) and she sang a few "little songs". Right. Earth-shaking, from the core of her being, reaching into mine and most of the other 1200 people's in the audience as well, I am sure. Maybe there were a few who didn't get it, didn't get her- who knows. She is a simple powerful force- kind of like a tsunami. Her writing had already struck me that way. Her music too. But there was something even greater in her presence that kept my attention glued to her, all the while with a huge smile on my face and tears streaming down my cheeks much of the time. I couldn't take a picture or record a song because I did not want to break the trance for a second. I actually thought to myself that if I died last night I would be totally satisfied. That is how powerful it was for me.

I was with four friends. I was speechless afterwards. I pretended I could talk. But I felt like I was in another universe. It wasn't anything. It wasn't because I am somehow starstruck. More like awestruck- by the impact of total presence.

There is a line in M Train that made me feel like if I only read that one line I could be totally satisfied by the experience of reading something extraordinary. She is describing having fallen asleep for a while on her bed in a hotel room in the early evening in Mexico City. She is awakened by someone speaking through a distorted megaphone. "Disembodied words carried by the wind and landing on my windowsill like a deranged homing pigeon."

That may be my favorite line ever. Whose mind thinks this way? It's genius.

Here's a little clip from her show last night- I am so happy that someone has already put this up on YouTube.

God I AM

This morning I saw a post from my friend, sound healer and yogini Alessandra Montana, which spoke of the power of mantra and read "I am Divine Love." I was reminded of a dream/vision I had some years ago when I was reading Gary Renard's book The Disappearance of the Universe. I was told at the time, in these exact words "Remember only this: God I AM Divine Love."

There are times it is easy to remember- and there are times it is easy to forget. Lately I have been forgetting a lot. I had a series of pretty major day-to-day issues in the beginning of this month that I needed to deal with and resolve which threw me a bit- all of which had a specific deadline which happened to be the same day for each. I don't tend to be an anxious person but I literally found myself having frequent heart palpitations and taking a lot of Rescue Remedy!

And now we have the upcoming election- sounds ridiculous, right? When we are talking about Truth and Divinity... but on the mundane level these things (and this one in particular) become so big and so highly charged and I have found myself so distracted and reactive- and not liking the way I feel at all. On top of it, I have actually gone on the computer to write in this blog several times in the last few weeks and suddenly found myself totally derailed by the emotional environment surrounding the current issues.

So I was very grateful for this morning's reminder. I have been working on sort of an experiment lately which relates to all of this, but having minimal success with my commitment. It began after reading Patti Smith's book M Train which blew me away. I felt, after reading her book, that she is someone who lives and is guided by her inspiration. She simply does the things that inspire her, whether it's buying a ramshackle cottage on the beach in Rockaway or sweeping and planting flowers at the grave of Haruki Murakami or one of her other beloved authors, philosophers, musicians or daydreamers. I loved that this is how she lives and was so touched by it that I decided to begin my own Inspiration Experiment and do at least one thing every day that inspires me. (Inspire (v.) in Middle English also was used to mean "breath or put life or spirit into the human body; impart reason to a human soul." ~Etymology Online~)

The truth is that this is how I try to live my life. I do work that I love and I have a radical gratitude practice but even with that... I forget. I just plain forget and I am off trumpeting against Trump, railing against divisiveness and inequality... but when I am railing AGAINST, what am I doing? Am I in gratitude? Am I in appreciation? Am I in remembrance and commitment to the truth? No. Really, no. I am in just plain old forgetfulness. So I will thank Trump and the Trumpeteers for reminding me to remember- that all the attack I perceive around me comes from MY MIND and when I remember to change my mind the world around me changes.

"True learning is constant, and so vital in its power for change that a Son of God can recognize his power in one instant and change the world in the next. That is because, by changing his mind, he has changed the most powerful device that was ever given him for change." (A Course in Miracles, Text, Chapter 7, Paragraph 7)

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