I am sitting in a thatch roofed house in the Netherlands overlooking fields, farms and a river. The sun is trying to break through the clouds and I am trying to catch up on a few things before I go out for a walk. I only have 3 days left here. It has flown by and I am sad to be leaving. It’s hard to go “home” to a place that doesn’t really feel like home. I do my best when I am there to make it as homey as possible, but living where I don’t really have a strong sense of community, family and familiarity is challenging. It’s interesting and surprising to be in an entirely different country where I don’t speak the language and feel more at home here!

I’ve had a strong feeling lately that my general sense of discomfort is in fact for my own growth and I work with it… but sometimes it’s harder than others. When I am connecting with people, with nature, with sound and music, it’s all pretty easy and I feel at home wherever I am- but when I attach to a fixed idea of what this is, ie what I would prefer… this idea of comfort or connection- it becomes a lot more challenging, and some days I’m just more vulnerable or sensitive to it all than other days. I read something a few days ago in Paul Selig’s most recent book, A World Made New, and this passage jumped out at me: “What expires in the Upper Room is what you needed at a low level of vibration. What is released at this level are the very things that gave you a sense of identity or comfort in the lower vibrational field. This is only challenging as you attach to them.” (p. 165) I think that says it all.