The Power of Mantra, The Science of Sound

Yesterday, January 6, 2021, was not a good day in the history of America- the culmination of four years of narcissism, arrogance, intolerance and self-righteousness by a disgruntled employee of the people.

I made a commitment to myself a few days ago- that I would put something out there every day on this blog. I missed yesterday because I was beside myself as the events of the day unfolded. I actually went into escape mode for a while- took a drive so I could listen to the news and not be sitting in my house watching it all on the TV or computer. I needed a change of scenery. When I got back I went up to Mahesh and Mukta’s, my neighbor/friends in the other house on the property where I live, and had pizza and a glass of wine. I was going to stay up there and blow off Day 6 of the 7-day mantra practice I have been doing with Jai Uttal but somehow, after eating way too much pizza, I felt somewhat emotionally revived and decided to go back up to my house and chant. I knew it would be the best thing for me and that I would be really disappointed in myself if I missed it.

Chanting in the time of Covid… I swore I would never do webinars- now I am so grateful for them. Thank you Jai and beautiful Nubia for bringing yourselves to our living rooms!

And of course I was so grateful that I listened to my heart rather than my mind as I knew I would be. As always the chant was perfect for the day - a devotional prayer to Hanuman, the monkey-god whose heart is so big and so full that it overflows with ardent love and devotion for Lord Ram and his beloved Sita. The perfect chant when the heart is feeling wounded.

On another note which isn’t exactly a change of topic- it relates- I am fascinated by the way significant dates repeat themselves. Exactly 15 years ago yesterday, on January 6, 2006 I sustained a fairly serious head injury. I was hit in the temple on the right side of my head by a large speaker. I got a concussion but the miracle was that the flat side of the speaker hit me square in my temple. I am convinced if it had been at the slightest angle the damage would have been far worse. Anyway, that is another whole story but what I want to get to here is how nāda yoga, the yoga- or science- of sound, which Sadhguru talks about in the above video, saved me or at least got me on a faster track to recovery.

About a month and a half after the injury- I hadn’t yet started driving again and could still barely talk, had a fair amount of swelling and pain- my nāda yoga teacher Shyam Bhatnagar offered a 7-day sound meditation retreat in Fort Meyers, FL. We sat with Shyamji and chanted for several hours every day, along with doing a dietary cleanse. Shyamji is a nāda yoga master and uses the voice, mantra and tamboura. After about 3 days I started noticing distinct changes. My mind started getting clearer and there were differences in my energy level. When I arrived at the retreat I already could see considerable improvement compared to the acute stage but with the mantra and meditation practices I could distinctly sense that my nervous system was receiving benefits on a subtle yet very deep level. I also had a lot of emotional clearing during the process and became aware of the deep level of trauma that I had undergone as a result of the injury.

The healing process was long- a good year- but the improvement in the beginning with a week of mantra practice with someone who really understood the science of sound was profound. I had many other helpers during this time who I am deeply indebted to, but the mantra and purification practice with Shyamji certainly helped get the ball rolling.

Chill Out With Some Ice Music

A friend sent me a link today about ice music in Lapland. I posted about the Ice Music Festival in Norway a few years ago when I first came across it. The visuals and the music are both stunning. There’s not much I can say- it’s all here.

I don’t think that it is true that there is nothing new under the sun- or in this case, under the ice! Every moment is new and so whatever appears in the now is new. And there seems to be no end to the creative spirit and inspiration that continually uncovers, explores and creates new technologies and methodologies which give us a whole new way to experience that which is known or familiar to us in other ways.

Check out this link to the Ice Music Festival in Norway- click here.

Dancing With the Goddess

In 2015 I accepted Seth Godin’s challenge to “ship” every day for 30 days- which meant writing a blog post. I did it for almost that whole year I think. I definitely did it for many months- and I had a sense of commitment every day, a sense of satisfaction, and a sense of completion. My commitment to myself as of January 1 is to post something- or ship- every day for 30 days.

It’s late. I wake up in the morning thinking about this- this blog- observing sound throughout the day, listening deeply at times, enjoying music on a more external level at other times and sometimes just being busy… doing stuff, making lunch, doing laundry, going to the grocery store, catching up with people on the phone- all the stuff of life. Today several hours were spent in mantra practice. Tonight I spent an hour chanting this beautiful mantra to Ma Durga during a webinar with Jai Uttal. Feel your breath, let yourself drop in and enjoy that quiet place inside for a little while…

A Groovy Sunday Groove

Morning has flowed into the afternoon as I have been immersed in Sunday morning music. Started off with Traffic “Low Spark of High heeled Boys” and I was actually able to play a little of the main piano groove along with it- which was very exciting!

That led me to a bunch of Traffic, Blind Faith and Steve Winwood classics- including these…

Somehow that all led into Van Morrison’s song “Into the Mystic” from his beautiful Astral Weeks album…

and finally, that led me to one of my favorite of all-time Van Morrison albums- Poetic Champions Compose- which I have been dancing, singing and playing the flute with for the past hour. I love Sunday mornings! Enjoy the music, and tell me “Did ye get healed?”

Gratitude

I woke up extremely conscious of the passage of time yesterday and am feeling directed to make better use of it. There is no shortage of it- as well as the opportunity to spend a lot of said time in solitude. My intention this winter was to focus on immersing myself in the experience and study of sound and its effects in various forms. Of course that has been my path for a very long time but there is an opportunity right now since there is no gathering in groups and I am in a new place and not particularly inclined to promote private sessions right now until the spread of Covid begins to subside.

To that end I have joined a 7-day mantra practice with Jai Uttal as well as a 40-day kundalini yoga practice which begins on January 4. Those are the formal practices I am engaging in. Then there are my personal practices. I am definitely exploring the effects of Richway’s BioAcoustic Mat since I do not have my Soundweaver here. I haven’t been using it as often as I could but that is going to change too! I am using it with the BioMat on top which is a great combination. Yesterday I gave myself a 50-minute session while doing long distant healing for a friend at the same time. The music I used was Nawang Khechog and Carlos Nakai’s recording “Winds of Devotion” which is so beautiful and one that I have always found to be very powerful and effective on the Soundweaver.

Today I went for a beautiful walk in the woods. I found myself filled with deep gratitude… gratitude for time, for beauty, for the experience of being in a body where- because of the apparent separation- we have the gift of appreciation, for my teachers- past and present, known and unknown, for my ancestors, for my family, my parents, my siblings, my children and grandchildren, for all the masters who have walked the earth, for all that is past and all that is to come. It was an endless, expansive and totally joyful experience. From gratitude I moved into prayer. i walked and I prayed and I prayed and i walked. The prayer became the simple mantra from Dr. Emoto, “I love you, I thank you, I respect you.” As I looked at the trees, the water, the ferns, the rocks, the sky, felt the air on my skin, heard the sounds of the running water, thought about the molecules, atoms and particles that all matter is composed of… “I love you, I thank you, I respect you.” And myself, a hand on my heart “I love you”, joined by my other hand on my heart “I thank you”, and one hand then raised to my third eye “I respect you”. Over and over, tears streaming down my face.

I love you.
I thank you.
I respect you.

A New Dawn

2021. Happy New Year! I feel good. I feel hopeful.

2+0+2+1= 5. In numerology 5 is about change and transformation and after 2020 (4, think “square”, grounded, solid, not particularly creative or forward thinking) I think we are all looking forward to some major changes. That’s all I’m going to say about that!

It’s a new dawn, it’s a new day… and it’s a new year! I went to sleep a little after midnight and woke up at 4 a.m. thinking about things I want to get done and one of the first things that came to mind was to start blogging again. Along with it came this song.

Circles, Cycles and Sound in the Time of Covid

For the past 3 days I have been immersed in the Sound Healing Global Summit online. Two days left. I had an idea that I couldn’t stand online workshops but in the time of Covid I am finding myself incredibly grateful for them. I dipped my toe in when I was in the Philippines- initially to attend a Weight Watchers meeting that I used to go to every Saturday morning when I was at home in Rhode Island. It was so wonderful to see familiar faces and feel the connection from 12000 miles away! After that I started joining in on Jai Uttal’s Friday evening kirtans and Gina Sala’s Monday Mantra class, which for me, being 15 hours ahead, were a perfect way for me to start my Saturday and Tuesday mornings- with joyful sound and meditation- and to dive into practices that otherwise were completely inaccessible to me where I was, especially once we were in lockdown.

So back to the Sound Healing Summit…

FAST FORWARD!!! I started writing this on August 5. It is now October 17. My life has made such a wide and clear circle in a year. One year ago today I was getting ready to drive to North Carolina to help my dear friend and former partner Henry navigate his way through a health procedure. Sadly he died on October 18 while I was still on the road. Two days later my sister Jenny died. Henry’s death hit me like a sledgehammer and I spent a year moving through layers of grief around that. Now, a full year later, I find myself in North Carolina living in the house where he spent the last year of his life which he had helped one of our very close friends to build.

Last week, on October 11, we had a Celebration of Life on Zoom for my sister Jenny, and I found myself processing a lot of untapped grief around that. It was a beautiful event and I am so grateful that it was a full year later so that I could be fully present for it and not held captive by the feelings I had been dealing with around Henry’s death.

So… transition, changes, travel, lockdown, Philippines, music, sound and healing…

The Sound Healing Summit was an inspiration. At some point well into my stay in the Philippines, after being on what turned out to be a major sabbatical that went on much longer than I anticipated, I realized I could not make a plan as to what would be next. And I knew that I would know what the next step was to be quite simply whenever it came to me. Clarity came within the first hour of my tuning into the Sound Summit. I have a lot to process and won’t get into much detail here but it centers around creating a Wholistic Sound Certification Program. Nothing will begin to happen until at least the spring. I am spending the winter here in North Carolina brainstorming, formulating a plan, and writing.

When I went to the Philippines I brought one small (but mighty!) Himalayan singing bowl with me. I had an idea about doing short meditations and making some videos. Unfortunately there was never a strong enough signal to post them so now I am posting one short video I made one beautiful morning on Camiguin. The sound is not great as there was a ton of background noise- the people of the little fishing village mending their nets right behind me- and I was really just experimenting. Unfortunately since it turned out to be impossible to upload anything I never refined the process!

Halellujah I Am Home!

Hello my friends! This is going to be a VERY short post just to say I AM HOME AT LAST! To be in quarantine, on lockdown, I could have been in so many far worse places and situations and it was not stressful being in the Philippines- but it WAS stressful trying to get home. I finally paid the big bucks to Korean Air about two weeks ago as I had heard, after two months of dealing with Philippine Airlines and having one flight after another canceled, that they were the way to go. Their international flights were going out on a regular basis and dependable, from all reports. I told my friend I had been traveling with that I was done waiting on Philippine Airlines (note the acronym- PAL! So not!) and was paying for the Stress Reduction Plan. Korean Air got me on a flight just two days after I called them at 10:30 pm (at which time they answered my call rather than keeping me on hold for an hour) and I made it back to the crazy old US of A another 24 hours later with a layover in Seoul- which happened to be the coolest airport I have yet experienced and well worth the eight hour layover!

One of the cool sitting areas in Incheon Airport- I spent 8 hours in the airport and could have stayed longer!

I am transient at this moment, staying at my son Moose and his new wife Jenny’s house in St. Paul, MN. They got married two days after I got back and that was the best homecoming I ever could have hoped for. I am decompressing and easily acclimating to being back in the states even at this strange time in which we have found ourselves. It is difficult for so many and strange in so many ways but there is so much familiarity that I find a great deal of comfort in it nonetheless.

Jenny and Moose Hardisty, married 6.20.2020

Camiguin Blog

March 1, 2020

Camiguin Island, Philippines

Sitting on the side of a mountain in a small bamboo cottage on a volcanic island in the Philippines eating my lunch- or brunch I guess, since it's only 10:30 a.m... Ferns, chopped cucumber, sprouted almonds and mung beans, avocado, carrots, Chinese cabbage and some kind of green that may be in the spinach family but looks more like basil to me. Tastes more like spinach though. Kind of viney, reminiscent also of sweet potato vine... very dark green leaves, purple stem and a delicious smooth buttery texture when you chew it.

From where I'm sitting slightly off to my left I look up at Hibok Hibok, one of the largest mountains on the island and over to the right is the ocean. I'm staying here with an old friend from Florida. We're a ways up the mountain looking down over a beautiful lush green valley covered with coconut palms and other trees that I'm not familiar with. There are cows down there and occasionally I see someone walking through the valley. Every morning a flock of egrets flies through the valley and up into the mountains.

Have been waiting for a while to take a walk, getting other morning things done. Woke up and did pranayama and then meditated to Shyamji's Mere Ram.

The cottage on the hillside…

March 9, 2020

My last day of a long fast of fruit and raw vegetables that then went into a liver cleanse. Tonight is the last hurrah of the cleanse where I will drink a solution of epsom salts and water followed by olive oil and grapefruit juice. I have done it before but not in a long time and not this thoroughly. I started the fruit fast almost 3 weeks ago when I got a little bit of a sore throat. I got a mild case of bronchitis and Jim's friend Doc (who is a doctor) is being vigilant about my clearing this and being sure that it isn't the dreaded coronavirus. And in the process it is helping me to clear a lot of old stuff from the past on different levels.

I'm here by myself today- Jim's gone swimming which I know he needed to do, and I needed to rest as I am only on water today until the evening. I had visitors a little while ago, two young girls from the neighborhood, Rovijean and Cassandra. (I have no idea how to spell their names!) They 15 and 14 respectively. They are very quiet and shy but all the kids in the neighborhood are fascinated by Jim and I. It's funny to be the exotic one- definitely a new experience for me. The two girls, especially Rovijean, are very shy and it's like pulling teeth to get them to talk but they want to visit, so I got out Jim's guitar and played some songs and chants for them. They seemed to enjoy it. Cassandra is more demonstrative and she said how beautiful they were. Rovijean just smiles, and if I ask them questions they mostly giggle. I also showed them some pictures of my siblings, my kids and my grandkids and some pictures of New England. I demonstrated the Himalayan singing bowl for them- all in an attempt to entertain them as otherwise they sit there awkardly shy.

All the kids- and the people in general, adults as well- are so sweet and friendly. Everyone greets you wherever you go and is very polite and respectful.

Jim and two of our sweet little neighbors…

March 30, 2020

So much time has gone by and I see that it is exactly 3 weeks since I wrote the last bit. I have written in my actual journal a few times but nothing here and have not actually posted any of this yet. I have also been doing a small amount of expressive art therapy as I needed some avenue for creativity and self-expression, not having any of my instruments here but one small singing bowl.

So much has happened since I last wrote. Basically the whole world is now in some form of quarantine. I am 12,000 miles from home. In many ways I think it is better. One, I am in a very safe place. Two, I think it would be harder to be home and not be able to be with my family and friends. And three, I am under the care of an amazing doctor who was trained as a molecular biologist but later became a naturopath and chiropractor and I am going through some amazing healing protocols and clearing all kinds of old stuff.

I actually got sick 15 days after I arrived in the Philippines and it is very likely that I had coronavirus, but thanks to the care of Doc I had a very mild case.

Unfortunately I am not staying in the beautiful bamboo mountain hut that my friend Jim and I rented- a slightly convoluted story but the short version is that I had decided for a few days to stay somewhere else on the island just to see a different part of it. During that period of time they decided that all foreigners who had been on the island less than 6 months, in the area where we had been staying, were going to have to leave the island immediately. The coronavirus was just hitting the states and it seemed like a completely crazy time to travel. As it unfolded Jim and I were both cleared to stay by the authorities on the island but since we were both in different places at the time we had to keep it that way. I was not allowed to go back to the bamboo house. Jim was able to stay there because he had been here almost 6 months and had been in a different municipality the first few months he was here- so they gave him “special dispensation” (my words). I was fortunate in that I was instead able to stay in the same house as Doc (the amazing doctor) because, again, it was a different municipality. (Each of the different municipalities have their own rules- which they seem to mostly make up as they go along as far as I can tell!) In the end, all just some kind of good fortune, grace or divine intervention- call it what you will.

There is a guitar here. Thank god! So that is where I get some of my relief. We are on lockdown. No one is allowed to leave the premises except the “head of the household”- at very specific times- to go get groceries or whatever else might be needed. Thst does not include Doc and I. It was supposed to be until April 12 but now they are talking about extending it until April 30. I pray not- or if they do that they at least relax the restrictions so that we can walk down to the beach and go for a swim.

Re: the guitar- thinking about changing the words of 500 Miles to 12,000 Miles. We'll see how that turns out. Meanwhile, grateful for the internet and that I can connect with so many friends and family. Time to post some pictures. Unfortunately I no longer have the incredible views I had before. I will post some of the places where I have been though- and that hopefully I will be able to revisit before too long.

And in regard to sound... that has been one of the amazing constants since I have been here. Where I first stayed it was the rhythmic sound of the ocean, then up at the cabin the sounds of the jungle- birds, goats, roosters and water buffalo during the day, symphonies of crickets, tree frogs, insects and other unrecognizable sounds at night. Here the goats, the birds and the breeze, and the occasional truck going into the cement quarry during the day, at night mostly roosters and dogs. There is a little more traffic here than in the other areas so you do here the sound of motorbikes or the occasional honking of a horn. There is also a small restaurant here which is currently closed with the lockdown but she also has a small convenience store so in the morning there are voices out front as workers or one of her friends or extended family come to pick up something for lunch or buy a small necessity from her convenience store. (She is still allowed to be open from 6- 12 in the morning.)

So there's a snippet of my current life in the Philippines. Mostly my days are still filled with cleansing and healing and I couldn't ask for more.

I just listened to all my recordings I have done with my voice memo app since I've been here. I wish I knew how to post them!

Down in the valley!

A Cool Cafe Called Kurma (A Little Lesson in Alliteration)

Well, here I sit at a very cool cafe called Kurma on Camiguin Island in the Philippines. I’m having frustrating financial fuck-ups and am on hold with one of my esteemed financial institutions. By the grace of god Google Voice will not drop my call yet another time while I willingly wait on hold.

Okay, that may be it for the alliteration part- it just kind of happened.

So, I am realizing as I sit that my battery on my computer will wear down and I can’t stay here- need to put computer on sleep so I have the info I need when they finally answer.

The End.

Except for a picture of me taken weeks after I wrote this, sitting outside at Kurma.

Note: This was actually written on February 24, 2020…

Where Everything Is Music

So much time has gone by so quickly and so full of deep emotion that it has all been a blur. The recent losses have hit me hard- Henry, my sister Jenny and most recently a dear and beautiful friend in Sedona who had brain cancer. Losses punctuated with feelings of deep love and gratitude. I feel that a major chapter of my life has closed and I am standing on a threshold. I know I will be making some big changes soon- I do hope that they will lead me ultimately to the creation of another sound healing center but right now I am just taking a big breath.

A friend sent me this beautiful poem this morning and it was so perfect that it inspired me to finally post on my blog again!

Where Everything is Music

We have fallen into the place
where everything is music.

The strumming and the flute notes
rise into the atmosphere,
and if the whole world's harp
should burn up,
there will still be hidden instruments
playing, playing

This singing art
is sea foam.
The graceful movements
come from a pearl
somewhere
on the ocean floor.

Poems reach up like spindrift
and the edge of driftwood
along the beach
wanting, wanting

They derive from a slow
and powerful root
that we cannot see.

Stop the words now.
Open the window
in the center of your chest,
and let the spirits fly
in and out!

-Rumi

Music, Tears and Gratitude

Mostly I am “okay”. Home and putting things away that Henry had saved for me. A three-week road trip which in many ways felt like an inner pilgrimage. Even though I was on the road I couldn’t really just leave everything indefinitely so instead I just tried to hold an open space for myself on the inside.

And like I said, mostly I am “okay.” And then there are those moments, which come further and further apart but still arrive… when I hear a piece of music like this and I am hit with a tidal wave of sadness and gut-wrenching tears. I am grateful that I can allow myself to feel and cry when I need to.

Grateful for the power music has to pick us up, carry us on a river of emotions and drop us on the other shore!

Heartsease

I have spent the morning going through old photos and long threads of texts with both Henry and my sister Jenny who passed on October 18 and October 20 respectively. Somehow as I was uploading pictures onto my computer I was reminded of a beautiful chant I learned at kirtan camp several years ago. I decided to see if I could find a version of it on YouTube. It took a bit of searching but eventually I found it. It’s so beautiful. It seems like one of those chants that could easily make you weep- maybe I’ve just wept enough tears in the last two weeks to last me for a while. Anyway, all I felt when I began listening to it was the sweetest softening of the heart and so much peace.

After my mother died I rented an apartment in a beautiful old Victorian house in Newport called “Heartsease”. The name was so perfect and appropriate for the time. That is what I feel when I hear this chant.

Expanding the Boundaries of the Heart

Jenny and Henry, Ipswich 2011

On October 18 my former live-in partner and still beloved Henry Steffes passed away. The day after he passed I was on the phone with my sister Jenny who was undergoing treatment for ovarian cancer. The chemo was rough but she never complained. On that day, Saturday, October 19 I was on my way to North Carolina, driving. I thought I would be helping Henry get back on his feet but that was not to be. He had already passed by the time I hit the halfway mark on the road. Jenny and i had a long conversation full of laughter. She loved Henry, as all who knew him did, and he made her laugh. She apologized saying, ”I’m sorry- I can’t help it. he was so funny. Whenever I think of him I start laughing.” Periodically I would apologize to her. I knew she had had a chemo treatment only two days earlier and must have been feeling awful but each time I would try to get off the phone she’d say “Oh don’t worry about me” and would continue the conversation. She passed the following night.

In 2011 Henry and I went up to Massachusetts to converge with Jenny at my mother’s house. One bright fall day we had a long lovely walk in Ipswich near Crane Beach. It was a memorable day full of beauty, laughter and a sense of camaraderie.

My head has been filled with snippets of various songs since they passed. “Pools of sorrow, waves of joy are drifting through my open mind…” (Beatles)
“Death is unreal, that’s the way I feel.
There’s more to be revealed.
Lovers and friends meet again and again on the dear old battlefield…” (Incredible String Band)

Words I have heard over and over in the past week to describe Henry- kind, gentle, caring…. Jenny- wise, witty, warm… Two beauties… I feel the boundaries of my heart being pushed wider and wider- at first I thought the aching might hurt too much but it only lets in more love and gratitude.

Sound Effects

This is going to be very short. The video says all. Beyond the video, which specifically addresses the fullness of the frequencies of gongs and their effect on live blood cells, I am interested in doing research with other instruments and frequencies as well as vibroacoustic therapy. Not sure what the details of this project are going to look like yet but I have met a scientist from Brown University who I hope to be collaborating with in the very near future.

Meanwhile… this is very cool and exciting.

Vocal Revelations

Yes, me too… even though in my classes I encourage students to let go of their own self-judgment when it comes to their voice, to let go of the belief that they “can’t sing”, “can’t hold a tune”, and all of the terrible things they might have been told about their voice from childhood (which is mostly where all this negative self-talk and self-limiting beliefs come from)- when I hear my speaking voice recorded… yes, I cringe. And I love this article which explains so clearly and obviously the primary reason for that- which is that a recording does not pick up the rich low overtones which we hear internally through bone conduction when we speak. That is why we often don’t sound like “ourselves”- or the way we think we sound- upon listening to a recording of our voice.

Here is the link to the article The Real Reason the Sound of Your Voice Makes You Cringe

I also found this fascinating TedTalk which addresses the same topic.

TB Cello

If you know me and have seen some of my past entries then you may be aware that I totally love Mike Oldfield and think he is one of the most brilliant composers on the planet today. Not sure that I need to say anything about this. Mike Oldfield’s “Tubular Bells” played on cello… it’s freaking brilliant. The only bummer is that you don’t actually get to hear the tubular bells at the end- but I was actually smiling listening to this as much as I do when I hear the original. Also I think as much as it is an extraordinary musical composition, a large part of the impact in this case is actually the visual aspect- watching him play and doing the looping. It is very cool… and a really interesting backdrop as well.

Happy Sad

As usual I have waited days upon days upon days to get back to this. Okay, no. I wasn’t waiting! I was just busy with life and the ten thousand things. Blog is first in my mind pretty much on a daily basis- but somehow ends up last on the list. And way too often when I finally get here I am almost instantly snatched up and dragged down the rabbit hole of an overabundance of unwanted emails, tantalizing ads on the Internet (especially now when I am actively look for another vehicle, which means constant pop-ups of car ads), YouTube… oh yes, YouTube…

So, I have to be firmly committed to the task at hand. It’s Thursday, the fourth of July. My intention was to write about the nostalgia aroused in me by seeing the new (and wonderful) Woodstock movie last night. And then a feather drifted across my desk and I was reminded by my friend Jim, who passed away the day before yesterday, that there was another story to tell.

Yesterday morning I got a call from my dear friend Lynda that our friend Jim Feeley had passed away the day before. He was a great big teddy bear Paul Bunyan-type love of a man. He loved and laughed and hugged so hard that I wasn’t sure if he’d crush me sometimes. He was brilliant, a creative and artistic genius. I had been out and was driving home when I listened to my voicemail… my friend sobbing as she relayed the news. I cried for a few minutes as I was driving and then said “Jim…” and there he was, in the ethers. I knew in an instant he was so free, how his body had been weighing him down for so long with health challenges and COPD. Shortly thereafter I was able to reach Lynda and as I pulled in my driveway I sat in the car, talking to her on the phone, crying some more, knowing how much he loved and was loved by others and what a huge gift that was.

Just as we were about to get off the phone a small perfect pale gray feather drifted down from the sky and landed on my windshield right in front of me. Obviously from Jimmy and such a clear message that he was truly free. I was blown away- it was so perfect and beautiful. I thanked him and got out of my car and took this photo. Of course I saved the feather and even though I had it on the windowsill with the window closed he still managed to catch a breeze and fly right in front of me as I sat down to write this!

Energy cannot be created or destroyed. It just changes form. Thanks for the reminder Jimmy.

On another note, because the purpose of this blog is always to share in some way the power of music and sound to touch and heal the heart, soul, mind and body I am posting a video of the late great Tim Buckley. I heard a snippet of this song last night in the Woodstock movie, even though he wasn’t actually there- but they managed to weave it into the background regardless and it was such a treat to hear it, a remembrance of youthful innocence and carefree days. One of my favorite songs from one of my favorite albums of all time- “Happy Sad”. How appropriate. I am realizing that I used that line in an email I wrote this morning to Jim’s stepdaughter…

What Does Love Sound Like?

So many people ask me how I got into sound as a healing modality. The more I look back over the years to my attraction to sound, music and frequency I see how it was with me from the beginning. Some years ago I started writing a book on sound healing which I put on the shelf for a long time when I opened my sound healing center in FL. Recently I have decided to revisit it and a few days ago I opened to this section. Here’s a little bit about how I got here…

Excerpt from SOUND POSSIBILITIES: Restoring Balance and Harmony Through Sound and Music by Rosemary Warburton (in process- unfinished and unpublished. Please do not copy.)

Chapter on Sacred Sound: A Journey to the Heart (Part One)

“Everything has a vibratory essence and carries its unique tone.

Even the movement of blood in your veins emits its own sound.

You are music.

Ask yourselves, 'What does love sound like?'

And then make that sound.

The desire to be in harmony is, in itself, a statement of love.”

~Emmanuel's Book II: The Choice for Love~ (Compiled by Pat Rodegast and Judith Stanton, 1989)

The Beginning

My first memory: I am an infant lying in my crib on my stomach rubbing my hand on the sheet. There are two experiences happening simultaneously- one, the tingling in my hand that spreads through my tiny body; the other, the transfer of sound that I can both hear and feel, a gentle whooshing like a quiet waterfall that both soothes and fascinates my infant mind. From then on, this simple act of rubbing my hand back and forth on the sheet, the combination of sound and sensation, became my lullaby whenever I was put down in my crib for a nap or at bedtime. It is the memory of a conscious discovery that there was something I could do for myself that would relax me and send me drifting into a beautiful dreamy state, that place that babies go to when they look like they are half-drunk with fatigue and bliss and a belly full of milk. This was the sound, the feeling and the action that lulled me to sleep as a very tiny child and, in my conscious awareness, not only my first memory but also my first experience of sound medicine.

Only recently did I realize that this gentle whooshing was also the sound inside my mother's womb. When there was no arguing or fighting going on, this was the sound that I heard- the ancient rhythm of blood and water, a gentle whooshing; and I was safe there, soothed by the rhythms and the tones of the quiet waterfall within my mother's womb.

Newborn babies can sleep through almost anything. When they are tired they simply fall asleep. They sleep through parties, loud noises, sirens screaming outside. They haven't yet developed the quality of “resistance” that comes with the development of the ego. As we get older if we hear a loud sound or a disturbing noise, we tend to tense up rather than allowing it to move through us; resisting instead of practicing the art of breathing and letting go.

As a child I was extremely sensitive to sound. I don't know when this began but as far back as I can remember I could not tolerate loud noises. My parents separated when I was four and, although I don't remember it, I think that prior to that there was a lot of loud shouting, arguing and fighting. I suspect that contributed to my discomfort with loud sounds. My father was very scary and prone to angry outbursts and tirades that came without warning.

Fireworks and thunderstorms were equally terrifying to me. It was as though I could physically feel the sounds and vibrations in my body, especially in my chest, to such an extent that they were actually painful. By the same token I loved music and the outdoor sounds of birdsongs, crickets, cicadas and junebugs. Before my parents divorced we attended church on Sundays. My mother discontinued not long after their separation but up until then I loved going to church because I so loved the singing of the hymns and the sound of voices blending together as one. To this day the sound of a choir will bring tears to my eyes for the sheer poignant beauty of the sound.

Music class was my favorite time in school and at home if I wasn't singing or listening to music on the radio there was always a song in my mind. When I was 7 years old I was given my first transistor radio- this was straight out music therapy for me! I loved music and wanted to listen to it day in and day out and this way I could. I was 5th in the line of 6 children- in classic codependent family dynamics I was the "lost child", the "quiet one." I was introverted, shy, fearful and hypersensitive. What could be better than to lose myself in music? If I was unhappy or got scolded I would retire to my room and listen to my radio. At night I hid it under my pillow and played it softly so that no could hear it but me. For many years music rocked me to sleep at night.

My father was the first person to introduce me to the idea that sound was powerful enough to change the world around us. He was an avid student of metaphysics, spirituality and the occult. I remember a dinner conversation one evening- I was probably eleven or twelve- during which he began to talk about the power of sound and how it has been used throughout the ages to enlighten, to heal and sometimes negatively to control large groups of people or societies. Two things he said that evening made an indelible impression on my mind. One was that there is a theory that when the pyramids were built Egyptian priests may have actually levitated the huge stones with sound frequencies. It is believed by some that they were able to direct vibrational frequencies with some kind of tuning forks embedded with crystals to the extent that they could control and manipulate physical objects. I remember him talking about how the stones were placed so close together and so perfectly that it was impossible to slip even a piece of paper between them.

For some reason this made more sense to me, “resonated with me”, far more than any other explanation I had ever heard. It was news to me- big news!- and I was very intrigued by the possibility. Even with no understanding of energy it seemed much more plausible to me that one could use vibrational frequencies to move matter far more efficiently than with brute strength. I loved the whole idea! Not long after that that we were studying ancient civilizations in my 6th grade World History class and we got to the chapter on Egypt. I will always remember the drawing of hundreds of laborers with huge carts, levers and pulleys and thinking, “That's not how they did it!” although I wasn't about to say anything- I never forgot it though. Twenty-some years later I picked up my first book on sacred sound by Ted Andrews and found this same theory presented in the opening pages. Clearly I had come full circle and it was exactly the confirmation I needed to continue on down the road. (Scroll down to the bottom of this page to see a really cool video on Acoustic Levitation!)

The other thing that my father talked about was how, whenever Jesus performed a healing, he always used his voice, uttering words spoken with authority and conviction. The premise was that the power of the spoken word was a vehicle for the healing. In the words of Charles Fillmore, “He used words as the vehicle of the healing potency. He always spoke to the patient 'as one having authority.' He had a certain assurance, an inner conviction, that He was speaking the truth when He said, 'Thou art made whole'; and the result of His understanding carried conviction to the mind of the patient and opened the way for the "virtue" that went forth from the speaker.” ~Teach Us to Pray, by Charles Fillmore, [1941]~

The way I understand this today is that the voice carries or transmits the frequency and the intention which aligns the energy and allows healing to take place. Sound is a carrier wave for intention.

Even at a young age this “rang true” for me because I was already so aware of the effect that sound had on me personally due to my incredible sensitivity to it. There were certain sounds that I was in love with, that could make me stop dead in my tracks, and other sounds I simply couldn't bear. In fact my family was constantly trying to “cure” me of my sensitivity to loud noises, as if it were some kind of a disease, by doing things like trying to force me to watch the 4th of July fireworks without blocking my ears, or holding my arms by my sides when they shot the cannon on my father's boat. Needless to say, their efforts were both unwelcome and unsuccessful and probably were more traumatizing than anything else.

The conversations with my father however ultimately shaped my future, although many years passed before I became aware of the true impact they had on my life. I consider myself very fortunate to have had the exposure to metaphysics and spirituality at such an early age. I was attracted to yoga and meditation from when I was quite young and when I was around 13 my father met a lovely woman from Switzerland he would eventually marry and who happened to be a yoga teacher. Both of my parents were quite ahead of their time in their understanding of natural health and I had actually started going to yoga classes with my mother when I was about ten years old. Now I started attending my stepmother's yoga classes and was exposed to Sanskrit chanting. Her first yoga teacher was Dr. Ramamurti Mishra, the great Sanskrit scholar and nada yogi (nada yoga is the science of sacred sound), also known as Shri Brahmanada Sarasvati.

I was on my path, trying out different meditations and chanting always seemed to work for me. I would sit alone in the woods, on the rocks by the ocean or on the beach and chant for hours on end. At the very least it cleared my mind and relieved me of some of my teenage angst! But more than that, I always felt happy when I chanted. Sometimes it seemed as though it altered the world around me as much as my inner world. I would be transported from a simple and beautiful path in the woods to a world of deeper magic. My senses were heightened and every leaf and blade of grass, every rock and patch of moss would come alive with dewdrops and prisms of light.

When I was 14, summer of 1969, just before I was headed off to my first year of boarding school, I got caught smoking pot. This was a pretty huge deal for me since instead of going to the progressive arts boarding school to which I had been accepted and was very excited about, plans were changed and I was sent to The National Cathedral School for Girls, a very strict and “proper” girls boarding school in Washington, DC. This was very much the decision of my father and an attempt to straighten me out before I became a washed up drug fiend! It was awful. I was miserable and I would have to say it had pretty much the opposite of the desired effect. I felt as though I had been thoroughly abandoned and forsaken. I rebelled against every rule and regulation. I was only there for one year- thank God. They actually told me on the last day of school not to come back under any circumstances- which I considered a victory!

It was, however, an important year for me. I truly discovered the importance of music as a healing balm for my soul that year. My older brother Tim gave me a KLH stereo as a gift when I left for school and it was my saving grace. Every day when I came back to my room after classes I would lie on my floor with my head between the speakers and “disappear”. I had also started playing the guitar and my music and my songs were my other consolation. If it weren't for my music I don't know how I would have made it through that year- and many years to come for that matter.

I had two other experiences when I was in Washington that winter which had a profound impact on me. They both took place at the National Cathedral. In honor of what would have been Mahatma Gandhi's 100th birthday, Ravi Shankar was to play at the cathedral and we students in our blue plaid uniforms were required to go! I was familiar with his music and resonated deeply with the sound of Indian music. Very few of my classmates had ever heard of him but I was well aware that it was an incredible piece of good fortune to be able to hear this man play. I was sitting in the balcony of the cathedral and I can still see him walking down the aisle below between the rows of pews with his small entourage. A woman dressed in a colorful sari accompanied him on the tamboura. From the moment he walked in I was totally captivated and when he began playing I was mesmerized and deeply moved by the beauty of it. The exquisite subtleties of the music and the majesty of the cathedral combined to enter me deeply, magically, beautifully.

The other event was when John Denver played at the cathedral and led “The Lord of the Dance”. He began by singing the song but then had all of us come together, holding hands and basically do a snake dance through the cathedral weaving in and out among columns and arches. I don't know how many people were there but I would imagine there would have easily been 200-300 or more. It was one of the most joyful experiences of my life and probably the first time I witnessed the power of music as a way of connecting people in a very real and profound way.

When I was nineteen years old I was taught a series of powerful kriya yoga meditation techniques. One was a technique which enabled me to focus on the inner current of sound. There are many names for this inner sound current; “anahata nada”- the unstruck sound, celestial harmony, “naad” and “shabda” are but a few. “Anahata nada” is sound that is not caused by an external force. It is a totally internal experience. From this practice I learned to go deeply within myself and become very still so that I could hear the inner sound and truly be carried on the current. It is like riding a wave of bliss. This was to become extremely important for me not only for the immediate gifts that the meditation brought but also for the use of this technique in later years as part of my understanding of the workings of sound on the subtle energy system. (Part Two coming soon!))

Gradient Expansion

Last week I received a shipment of 200 CD’s- mine! My son, graphic designer Joshua Hardisty of The Midwest Visual Agency suggested a collaboration after hearing some sound journeys I had recently recorded in a couple of different studios. We both carry a procrastinator gene but somehow working together worked well for both of us. We were excited and inspired and, once we decided which tracks to use, we pulled it all together in a matter of 2-3 weeks. I did the music. He did the cover design.

It’s on this website if you go to “Shop” and soon there will be more in there! Like the really cool tote bags that Joshua also designed (the purple ones were my idea) which right now you can see on his webpage. He wrote a really great article about the design process HERE. I love that I got to collaborate with my son! In fact that may have been more exciting than creating the CD in the end.

But this is not the end- there is definitely more to come!