The Greater Whole

So last week I took on Your Turn Challenge, a challenge put forth by Winnie Kao to blog every day 7 days. Today was the last day. This is the last post I submitted. There were over 4000 entries a day! It was really a fun challenge- and surprisingly challenging. Your Turn Challenge has come to and end but it is definitely not the last you have heard from me!

Day 7- the last day of #YourTurnChallenge. Here we are and I am really glad to be here. I have been looking forward all day to sitting down and writing. And I am a bit sad that this is the last day. Honestly I don’t know if anyone has read my posts. I do know that I have read some wonderful, thought-provoking, sensitive, honest, inspiring posts by others. One person said they felt it was a failure. How sad… And I so disagree. No, that’s not the right way of saying it. Let me say that for me it has not been a failure. It has been a great success on many levels.

What am I taking away from this challenge? On a personal level I feel a certain sense of empowerment- the awareness that yes, I can commit to something and I can fulfill, I can complete on my commitment. I remember the day that I first started seriously contemplating it. I read about the challenge in an email and the first thing I did was forward it to my son Namdev who first turned me on to Seth Godin and said, “Have you seen this? I am thinking about it. You should do this!” Then I put it aside for a few days- but for whatever reason it stayed with me. I kept thinking about it and I went back to it a couple of times. I watched Winnie’s video and I really wanted to do it. There was something very compelling about it- maybe partly just the fact that I have a blog and I knew that I was not working it the way I really wanted to. This seemed like such a great way to get back into it and revitalize it and to move forward with the changes I have made in my life in the last 3 years.

But the truth is, I WAS SCARED. I kept not hitting that final link that said, “Yes, I’m in!” I was afraid I would fail. Bad enough to let myself down but to have to admit to others that I had failed, I wasn’t ready for that. At the same time there was a gnawing inside of me that said, “This is really important for me. I have to do this.” That grew into an awareness that the discomfort I would feel by NOT attempting it was going to be far greater than any discomfort I might feel by actually failing at it- and of course there was the possibility that I would succeed and that was kind of an exciting possibility. Maybe that sounds overly dramatic but the simple truth is that it felt somewhat daunting to me and I do not like not seeing things through to completion. I have done it too many times in the past, letting down myself and others and it is a big trigger for me.

So, finally, the day before it started I jumped in. I made the commitment, I hit the link and I was in. And it is Day 7. And I am here!

Beyond all of that personal drama, and most importantly, I feel like in the course of a week I have connected with a powerful community and I am loving that! It’s as though a new tapestry has been created and there is a thread, or many threads that run through and connect us all. It is interesting because it’s on somewhat of a nonphysical level. It’s not like a piece of visual art or a film where we have all created something and you can actually look at the whole picture and see the fullness of the creation and all of the different contributions. There are simply too many entries. (I am curious in fact how many there actually are, or will be by the end of this evening.) (And wouldn’t it be cool if they were made into a book so that we could actually hang out and read the entries over time and begin to get to know each other a little bit?!)

It is so interesting because I haven’t really read very many posts- a few each day- but I have been amazed by them- some people who are really excellent writers, others who are just writing from their heart in a very open and real way, but what I feel is that we are all in this together and a meaningful connection has made on a level that is very powerful. We all took this challenge and we each made a specific commitment and intention, that we would take this on not just whenever we were ready but on a specific series of days. We started together and have gone on together step by step, day by day.

Intention is so powerful and it occurs to me in this moment that when my commitment began to waver perhaps it was then your commitment, our commitment as a group, that gave me the surge of energy- that reminded me, out of the blue last night, when I was into the last half hour of “Kill Bill” (yes I really was!) that I suddenly said, Oh my god- I haven’t blogged today! I have to pause this right now and do it! Maybe that was what carried me. I don’t know.

I have such a strong sense that the whole is so much greater than the sum of its parts. We all did this together.  We all contributed whatever we contributed and we all got whatever we got. I can’t shake the feeling of this energetic thread that is running through it/us all that has connected us, that has created a community that I am excited to be a part of. I understand the feeling of connection to those people whose posts I have read or who somehow I have connected with on Twitter through the Your Turn Challenge but what I am really surprised by is my sense of connection to everyone who has participated in this challenge- that is what really blows my mind. The truth is that I have gotten far more out of this than I could have imagined. Thank you Winnie Kao!