Where Everything Is Music

So much time has gone by so quickly and so full of deep emotion that it has all been a blur. The recent losses have hit me hard- Henry, my sister Jenny and most recently a dear and beautiful friend in Sedona who had brain cancer. Losses punctuated with feelings of deep love and gratitude. I feel that a major chapter of my life has closed and I am standing on a threshold. I know I will be making some big changes soon- I do hope that they will lead me ultimately to the creation of another sound healing center but right now I am just taking a big breath.

A friend sent me this beautiful poem this morning and it was so perfect that it inspired me to finally post on my blog again!

Where Everything is Music

We have fallen into the place
where everything is music.

The strumming and the flute notes
rise into the atmosphere,
and if the whole world's harp
should burn up,
there will still be hidden instruments
playing, playing

This singing art
is sea foam.
The graceful movements
come from a pearl
somewhere
on the ocean floor.

Poems reach up like spindrift
and the edge of driftwood
along the beach
wanting, wanting

They derive from a slow
and powerful root
that we cannot see.

Stop the words now.
Open the window
in the center of your chest,
and let the spirits fly
in and out!

-Rumi

TB Cello

If you know me and have seen some of my past entries then you may be aware that I totally love Mike Oldfield and think he is one of the most brilliant composers on the planet today. Not sure that I need to say anything about this. Mike Oldfield’s “Tubular Bells” played on cello… it’s freaking brilliant. The only bummer is that you don’t actually get to hear the tubular bells at the end- but I was actually smiling listening to this as much as I do when I hear the original. Also I think as much as it is an extraordinary musical composition, a large part of the impact in this case is actually the visual aspect- watching him play and doing the looping. It is very cool… and a really interesting backdrop as well.

Happy Sad

As usual I have waited days upon days upon days to get back to this. Okay, no. I wasn’t waiting! I was just busy with life and the ten thousand things. Blog is first in my mind pretty much on a daily basis- but somehow ends up last on the list. And way too often when I finally get here I am almost instantly snatched up and dragged down the rabbit hole of an overabundance of unwanted emails, tantalizing ads on the Internet (especially now when I am actively look for another vehicle, which means constant pop-ups of car ads), YouTube… oh yes, YouTube…

So, I have to be firmly committed to the task at hand. It’s Thursday, the fourth of July. My intention was to write about the nostalgia aroused in me by seeing the new (and wonderful) Woodstock movie last night. And then a feather drifted across my desk and I was reminded by my friend Jim, who passed away the day before yesterday, that there was another story to tell.

Yesterday morning I got a call from my dear friend Lynda that our friend Jim Feeley had passed away the day before. He was a great big teddy bear Paul Bunyan-type love of a man. He loved and laughed and hugged so hard that I wasn’t sure if he’d crush me sometimes. He was brilliant, a creative and artistic genius. I had been out and was driving home when I listened to my voicemail… my friend sobbing as she relayed the news. I cried for a few minutes as I was driving and then said “Jim…” and there he was, in the ethers. I knew in an instant he was so free, how his body had been weighing him down for so long with health challenges and COPD. Shortly thereafter I was able to reach Lynda and as I pulled in my driveway I sat in the car, talking to her on the phone, crying some more, knowing how much he loved and was loved by others and what a huge gift that was.

Just as we were about to get off the phone a small perfect pale gray feather drifted down from the sky and landed on my windshield right in front of me. Obviously from Jimmy and such a clear message that he was truly free. I was blown away- it was so perfect and beautiful. I thanked him and got out of my car and took this photo. Of course I saved the feather and even though I had it on the windowsill with the window closed he still managed to catch a breeze and fly right in front of me as I sat down to write this!

Energy cannot be created or destroyed. It just changes form. Thanks for the reminder Jimmy.

On another note, because the purpose of this blog is always to share in some way the power of music and sound to touch and heal the heart, soul, mind and body I am posting a video of the late great Tim Buckley. I heard a snippet of this song last night in the Woodstock movie, even though he wasn’t actually there- but they managed to weave it into the background regardless and it was such a treat to hear it, a remembrance of youthful innocence and carefree days. One of my favorite songs from one of my favorite albums of all time- “Happy Sad”. How appropriate. I am realizing that I used that line in an email I wrote this morning to Jim’s stepdaughter…

Gradient Expansion

Last week I received a shipment of 200 CD’s- mine! My son, graphic designer Joshua Hardisty of The Midwest Visual Agency suggested a collaboration after hearing some sound journeys I had recently recorded in a couple of different studios. We both carry a procrastinator gene but somehow working together worked well for both of us. We were excited and inspired and, once we decided which tracks to use, we pulled it all together in a matter of 2-3 weeks. I did the music. He did the cover design.

It’s on this website if you go to “Shop” and soon there will be more in there! Like the really cool tote bags that Joshua also designed (the purple ones were my idea) which right now you can see on his webpage. He wrote a really great article about the design process HERE. I love that I got to collaborate with my son! In fact that may have been more exciting than creating the CD in the end.

But this is not the end- there is definitely more to come!

Running- and DBs!!!

Yowzer!!! Busy days… the usual challenge, wanting to write, thinking about what is most interesting and exciting to share in my life and world which is always filled with sound and music. Of course if I wrote every day- or even once a week- I wouldn’t feel like I have to cram everything into one post!

Two great musical events in the last two weeks, one as I was making way to Tallahassee. I called my best friend from boarding school who I’ve seen just a handful of times in the past few years, having been reunited thanks to classmates.com about 15 years ago and told her I wanted to visit her in Baltimore as I was driving through. She was excited and the next time we talked she said she had gotten some tickets for a great concert. Well, we’ve all changed in the past 45 years, right? So I was not sure what kind of concert it might be… I said, Cool! Who is it? The Doobie Brothers! She said she thought we should revisit our high school concert going days… Well, I was all over that! They were so great and we had the best time.

If you look closely you may notice the tears in my eyes in this picture. I had literally just seen a video and photo from a surprise engagement party my son was throwing that evening for his fiancee in Minneapolis! Unfortunately I was en route to FL and could not delay getting down there so I had to miss the party. (We’re having another one for them in July though with his RI family and friends!)

And here is the aforementioned- and in my opinion what should be award-winning photo taken by my daughter-in-law Kimberlee Whaley!

From there I headed to Tallahassee with a brief stop in North Carolina. The night after I arrived in Tallahassee i went with a group of friends to see the most amazing band. It was without question one of the best, most exciting and dynamic musical experiences I have ever had. DakhaBrakha. Another DB band comprised of a group of 4 extraordinary Ukrainian musicians, one man and three woman. Their music is eclectic, their excellence as musicians is awe-inspiring, their joy is infectious.

And now I’m sitting here at the kitchen table in my friends’ house in Tallahassee with Sound Journeys and workshops already behind me and more ahead of over the next five weeks, here and in St. Pete. Life is very busy, very full, very exciting and I am running to keep up with it all! I am making it my intention to get back to this page sooner so that I can share more of the exciting stuff that is going on.

AA Bondy's Back (or, Where Does the Time Go?)

Seriously I intend to get on this page EVERY DAY! The truth is I have amazing experiences related to sound and music and healing or at least one of those three EVERY SINGLE DAY- and I want to write about them- I want to share them. That is a true desire of mine.

The time slips by so fast. Amazing how real an illusion can feel. Heh heh…

Well, I couldn’t let this one go by. New song by AA Bondy, after 8 long years of… I don’t know. Couldn’t tell you. He’s been quiet. I only know that I loved AA Bondy from the first song I ever heard by him… which was? Don’t remember, a whole lot of his music hit me at once. My son Moose loved him (still does, turned me on to this song earlier today) as did my friend Devon and suddenly there was a lot of AA Bondy around.

So, he has released this one song as a preview to his new album which is being released in full on May 10. I think I have listened to this at least 8 times today- the last time on YouTube through my TV which is hooked up to my stereo. One more thing, his house burned down in the California wildfires the day after he completed the album- which is called “Enderness” by the way. Life is so weird.

Sound, Medicine of the Future. Now.

A little over 20 years ago I had a client with essential tremors, much like the woman in the video in the attached article. The first time he went on the Soundweaver, with the vibroacoustic therapy and some light hands-on energy work, his tremors completely stopped. I would say that first time it took about ten minutes. After the session his tremors started up again like an old engine slowly starting up and within about 30 seconds they were totally back. But he had experienced relief. He told me it was the most relaxed he had been in 8 years since the tremors started up and that during the session he had no tremors at all. He said that at night when he slept he could feel his organs still shaking but during the session everything stopped.

Afterward he wrote a testimonial: “I fell into a state of meditation. I was in a void with beautiful light-blue light. All of my tremors stopped. It was like I was in a void with no end and no beginning. As soon as I felt like there was something beyond that, I reached for that Unknown and I came out of my state of meditation. as if I wasn’t supposed to go any further. It was a wonderful experience.” CST, 7.30.96

For the next year or so he came to me regularly for sessions. After the first session the entrainment set in much more quickly and it would only take about 3 minutes for his tremors to come to a total stop. They would always start right up again shortly after the music stopped, but he would get a reprieve and a period of deep rest that was very rejuvenating for him. The relief from going into such a deep state of relaxation would stay with him for a few days- which was huge. And then the exhaustion of the tremors would begin to set in again.

Close to a year later he shared another experience in a testimonial: “Most of the time I was in a marble chamber and at the entrance was some kind of a huge sculpting of a snake-like creature on the right. Inside it was calm and peaceful, no other people. Then I went into a place where everything became light. Light blue. It was so peaceful and calm that you feel no weight. When you are in there it is an extension of your life and you do not want to come back. I spent the rest of the time in the blue light. I feel like I am floating. I didn’t even feel the weight of my arms when I came out.” CST, 5.26.97

He didn’t come back much after that. It seemed that it became perhaps too painful emotionally for him to come back to his body after being in such a deeply restful and beautiful space. Not long after this he had surgery for his tremors which wasn’t entirely successful as I recall, but that’s another story and not mine to tell. He was elderly when I was treating him and passed away several years later. Working with him was an incredible gift for me and I know there was a period of time where it was extremely helpful for him. It was also tremendously educational as I was still fairly new to the work- had only been practicing a few years- and opened me to tremendous new possibilities with rhythmic entrainment and vibroacoustic therapy (introducing sound directly to the body through the use of a mat or recliner with speakers built into it).

Tonight I ran across this video about brain surgery with sound- in this case for essential tremors- very exciting!!! Click on this link for the full article.

Hej, Me I'm Light

Happy 2019 my friends! I went to the gym this morning after a late night of Irish music on New Year’s Eve and a chill day yesterday. The gym has a bank of TVs across the entire length of the room- at least 20 of them, maybe 30-with ten stations to choose from. All the current news stations of choice- CNN, MSNBC, Fox (no comment), the Food Network (which led me straight to the store after the gym the other day to buy pastrami, lol!), some home renovation channel and some other uninteresting choices. Occasionally I listen to podcasts on my phone (Alec Baldwin, Geoff Thompson, or NPR’s “Wait, Wait, Don’t Tell Me”). Usually I’m captivated by MSNBC but at a certain point today I found it all too disheartening, bordering on nauseating. And it was only 8:30 a.m. I decided the best choice if I was going to stay on the treadmill another 10 minutes was music. So I put this track on repeat. Best thing I could have done. Totally changed my energy. Music is the balm… ;-)

Rosalita!

Literally not a day goes that I don’t think about what i want to write in my blog. Thoughts, ideas, inspirations, observations. Unfortunately a day rarely passes in which I actually take a pause between “The 10,000 Things” long enough to actually get to this page! (As a matter of fact I just had three paragraphs written and some how managed to suddenly hit a wrong key somewhere and delete the whole thing… Starting over.)

Tonight I’m sitting in my living room with the fire going, Christmas tree lit up, just me- and Bruce Springsteen. Okay, well, kind of. Bruce Springsteen on Broadway… on Netflix… in my living room. And he said something so astute that I had to take advantage of the moment to share it. I let too many of these moments go by.

He said that we become the person whose love we are most desperate for because that is the one way we can get it. It blew me away. So clear and simple- I started weeping. I think I always thought it was some lack of vigilance that caused us (me) to somehow become like our (my) parents (usually the less attractive aspects, it always seemed to me) and this just made such perfect sense to me. It hit me like a sort of revelation. So, that’s it. just that. We become the person whose love we are seeking… So simple.

Well, there’s a little more since I’m on the subject of Bruce. When I was 18 I ran off with my boyfriend and ended up living in a little hunting cabin in Saxton’s River, VT. That winter I was listening to the radio one day and there was an interview with a guy named Bruce Springsteen (this is 1973 now). He caught my attention because A) he was a young rock n’ roller and B) because in the band he had with him he had a tuba player and an accordion player and that was odd enough to be worth listening to. The first song he played was Rosalita and I loved it and that was all I needed to hear. Up until then all the songs I ever heard with my name in them were Second Hand Rose, Yellow Rose of Texas, Rose of Washington Square and Rosemarie I love you. So here it is. Enjoy!

Drivin' Wheel

I have a lot to write about it but it’s past my bedtime and I might turn into a pumpkin so this will be a short one. I want to write about my Sanskrit workshop, I want to write about time spent in Paul Dobbe’s recording studio this past week…

But first… I want to share another one of my top ten favorite songs! And I have to share it now because I went to see Tom Rush tonight and he closed with it and it is hanging out in my consciousness. It is timeless. I remember when I first heard it- I was 15- up at my brother’s house in Vermont. It blew me away the first time. The whole album was one of the great albums of the era, to my mind- definitely on my lifetime list of top ten favorite albums. He covered a number of other people’s tunes on the album doing his own unforgettable renditions of each of them. Every song on the album is exquisite but there’s something about the heart and the intensity of this one that makes it even more special. It has never failed to bring tears to my eyes. Tonight was no different.

And again, it speaks of the power of music to bring us straight into our heart, letting all the other crap drop away for a while. It’s a cleansing. On one of the steps going up into concert venue tonight was emblazoned “Music is Truth.”

Amusing Musical Musings

Really I don’t have any! I just liked the way all those words fit together. Let’s see what happens with a little stream of rambling though. I can’t call it stream of consciouslness because I’m not sure how much consciousness will actually be expressed here!

Some of the things I have been recently ruminating on… First, the sound journey I did two weeks ago at St. Mary’s Church in Portsmouth, RI. I played longer than usually- not incredibly longer but maybe 8-10 minutes longer… and I felt like I could have just hung out and gone on and on. I had to reel myself in at a certain point (that point being when I looked at the time).

It was such a gorgeous space- I had been wanting to do a sound journey in there ever since I first went there for a yoga class about a year ago. I record all my sound journeys so a few days ago I was listening back to this one. I often don’t remember what I did after a sound journey- I am in such a focused and meditative state. I just remember the feeling and the overall vibe of it. Sometimes there are certain instruments that stand out or maybe a particular chant. This one happened to be particularly trippy- there were a lot of combinations of tones that were creating very interesting and powerful binaural beats and as I perceived them I began to play off them and amplify them.

A few nights ago I went to a ukulele class. Now THAT was fun!!! I expected a small group of 12-20 people but it turned out that there were over 50 people in the beginner’s class- probably closer to 60- and the songbook we have been given is so much fun. Goofy songs like “Put The Lime in the Coconut” to songs by Herman’s Hermits, The Beach Boys and the Beatles- lots of Beatles tunes. My new favorite song to practice is “Don’t Pass Me By”- not something I ever imagined playing on the ukulele!

And then I went to an amazing workshop this past weekend at John Beaulieu’s property in Stone Ridge, NY- auriculotherapy with tuning forks- ie using tuning forks on acupuncture points in the ear, a brilliant therapy that I have wanted to learn for 20 years. It was a small group and thus a very intimate workshop and just what I needed for balance, inspiration and some great new information. John also gave me a really powerful treatment as part of his demo on Sunday morning which was also sorely needed. I have been trying to get my energy back and release some of the physical and emotional toll that my trips to Utah took on me earlier this year when my son Benjamin was having health challenges. A short treatment with John- who is such an extraordinary sound healing practitioner, bringing together his skills as a psychologist, osteopath, craniosacral therapist, musician extraordinaire and so much more- was just the right medicine.

And to top it off, we were in John’s sound studio which is for me, and I am sure all of the other sound healing practitioners, artists and musicians who are drawn to being there, like Willie Wonka’s Chocolate Factory was for Charlie!

MTHSMIMT #6 & #7- More of my favorites!

Every day is FULL!!! Full of life, full of people, full of music. The one thing that seems to be lacking is time. My mind also is full. Every day there are so many bright moments of inspiration and awakening that I want to share and here it is, past midnight and I am knowing I have an early day tomorrow so I can only take a quick minute to post a couple more of my favorite pieces of music.

Here you go- one of the greatest soul men of our time. In doing a little research I discovered that he died on my birthday 2 years ago. I saw him several times back in the late eighties and he was wonderful and so accessible. I called him once at his home in Chicago- (those were the days when you could still get a phone number from information!) to tell him how much my boyfriend and I loved him and he answered the phone himself! The next time we saw him he dedicated a song to us (Love and Happiness).

So put on your dancing shoes and turn it up! The second one is one of the all time greatest songs ever, imho!!!

MTHSMIMT#- Day 5 Make-up!

Well, I fell off the wagon really fast! I am determined to catch up but tonight only time to jump on here quickly and post one new song although more and more are being added to my
”stopped in my tracks” playlist.

I listened to this whole album tonight loud- it was so good. Musical immersion… Did a few quick expressive art drawings while listening. Will post on Facebook tomorrow.

#MusicThatHasStoppedMeInMyTracks- Day 3

And the winner is… Chuck Prophet! TURN IT UP!

Note: The first video is the super cool, super chill version of one of the finest songs ever. The second is the super kick-ass rocking guitar version- both excellent… The third is from Live At Daryl’s House which was where I heard it the first time. Blew me away! (No, I was not AT Daryl’s house, lol- watching it online!) I have been known to listen to this song over and over- in fact I just did!!! It’s just too freaking cool.

Everybody's Coming to My House!!!

WOW!!!

So… after I posted my last post- the one with one of my all-time favorite songs by Bruce Cockburn- I thought it would be really fun to post some of my other favorites, songs that made me stop in my tracks the first time I heard them. I was going to list them but I think it will be more fun to surprise you with a new one each day. I don’t know if I could just do my “Top Ten” (I’ve already gotten to eleven and I’ve only just begun).

Anyway, when I got to choosing a song by the Talking Heads I couldn’t decide on just one because everything they ever did was brilliant… so I went to YouTube and put in David Byrne and came up with this, a new song, something I had never heard before. I can’t say it’s my number one favorite song by him (because like I said, they all rank #1 with me) but it’s a brilliant performance in every way and I was instantly blissed out as I began to watch. I can definitely say it’s one of my favorite performances. Turn on your speakers or your Bluetooth and turn them up loud- and let me know if you love it even half as much as I do!!!

Afterthought: Thinking about healing with music- anything that brings you joy is healing. Joy makes your cells sing and come alive!

A Happy Song to Start the Day!

Good morning! Feeling happy, joyful and grateful today. As apparently per usual these days, I think of my blog every day and before I know it the day has gotten away from me and I am off and running and another day goes by, and I have not visited with you- whoever you are that may be reading this. In fact, I am sitting here at a little table in a little Airbnb in Vancouver, Canada wondering if I should stop, get up and make breakfast and get back to this. Bad idea! Breakfast can wait. Sharing musical ecstasy cannot wait another minute, hour or day.

Everyday, whether I actually get to this or not, and obviously by the date of my last post it has been quite a while, I wonder what I can share today- whether it is a tidbit on sound healing, music that excites me or the simple sound of a bird. One of my favorite recordings is that of sheep in Holland that I recorded on my iPhone a few years ago. It’s in my voice memos and makes me laugh every time I hear it. It was the day I discovered that sheep have distinctly different voices. It spans the range of an almost squeaky bleating sound of a lamb to a very gruff and deep voice of what sounds like must be a large older male, though really I have no idea- maybe it’s the little one’s mama. But it’s funny- and if I were ever able to figure out how to post some of my voice memos here I would.

I have hours and hours of music, workshops, sound journeys, kirtan, practice- as well as cicadas in Sedona, peepers in North Carolina (the Murphy, NC Wall of Sound!), Dutch sheep, birds in the backyard, birds in Holland, morning sounds in Maui, whale songs, my granddaughter Noelle when she was barely 3 singing a hysterical song she made up (I Don’t Care About the Truth), a ferry on Lake Kootenay (British Columbia- just recorded that one a couple of days ago)- all recorded with the Voice Memo App which is surprisingly good.

So- a couple of days ago I was in the grocery store in Vancouver and out of the relatively distant past comes the voice of Bruce Cockburn singing one of my very most favorite songs which I had not heard in years. And for the last two days I have been wondering what I might share in my next blog post. Talking about music and sound is all good- but there has to be an experience as well. There is no understanding without an experience- at least in my experience! And this morning I woke up thinking, that’s it- today’s the day. Sit your ass down and write something! And I wondered- and there it was. I’m wondering where the lions are.

Love, Loss and Impermanence

Benjy Wertheimer shared this earlier this morning on Facebook. Powerful, poignant and deeply resonant- good words to wake up to. He had a powerful reference point for it in his own story of love, loss, grief and more love. I know we will each have our own context.

For me, in this moment, it is much about my last few months as I wrote about in my previous post- feeling as though my heart had been pulverized as I watched my 38-year-old son Ben become less and less responsive after an eye surgery where they had to go in through his cranial bones. Eventually he turned around but there were a few days that were without question the longest days of my life as i wondered if he was slipping away for good, as I saw the nurses have to restrain him when he didn't know what was happening and was trying to pull out his feeding tube and many leads to the EEG glued to his head, when he didn't know where he was or why he was there, when I saw nothing but fear and confusion coursing through his being . I am still processing it with an awareness of impermanence and the strangeness of the illusory passage of time and the wrenching of the heart. And the softness and love that permeates through it all.

“You will lose everything.
Your money, your power, your fame, your success, perhaps even your memory.
Your looks will go.
Loved ones will die.
Your own body will eventually fall apart.
Everything that seems permanent is absolutely impermanent and will be smashed.
Experience will gradually, or not so gradually, strip away everything that it can strip away.
Waking up means facing this reality with open eyes and no longer turning away.
Right now, we stand on sacred and holy ground.
For that which will be lost has not yet been lost, and realising this is the key to unspeakable joy.
Whoever or whatever is in your life right now has not yet been taken away from you.
This may sound obvious but really knowing it is the key to everything, the why and how and wherefore of existence.
Impermanence has already rendered everything and everyone around you so deeply holy and significant and worthy of your heartbreaking gratitude.

Loss has already transfigured your life into an altar."

~ Jeff Foster ~

Sarasvati, Mike Oldfield, Creativity and Healing

Sarasvati, "She Who Flows", is the goddess of creativity, wisdom, intellectual pursuits, the arts and sciences, music and language. She is the one we can invoke before we begin any creative project.

This is a great little clip of Mike Oldfield, maestro extraordinaire, discussing his creative process. I love the how he talks about the germination of an idea.

And just for the fun of it I am posting another great song of his (what has he done that isn't great?) that isn't always associated with him- but in fact he wrote it (NOT Hall & Oates as some folks believe). This is the original version on his album "Five Miles Out" (Maggie Reilly on vocals). If your only association with Mike Oldfield is as the composer of "Tubular Bells" this one may come as a surprise- but really, he is a musical genius and full of surprises.

And now, if I have your full attention, turn up your speakers, lay back and listen to the full recording of "Ommadawn"- total gorgeousness and brilliance! Talk about sound healing! I used to listen to this endlessly. It's over 40 years old now and has lost nothing over the years- still just brilliant and beautiful. I know every note by heart. It was music to disappear into when life got to be too much... This is one of those albums that could always bring joy to my heart and peace to my mind.

Bolero

This was my greatest inspiration today (breathe in)... Moved to tears by the end of it. Angelique Kidjo and Branford Marsalis' stunning performance of Ravel's Bolero. Enjoy!